LeeAnne’s Celebration of Life is on my birthday. I almost can’t. How do we let her go.
Two more days of 71. I finished a 1000 piece jigsaw. The library on my new puzzle table. Listened to more of Black Cake.
Working hard to get Ivan to Cancer Center in Tampa. This has to help.💔
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. - Thomas
This is how I really feel.
It is 2:56 am can’t sleep. I guess this all I have for tonight.
Only three days until my 72nd birthday. I will finish the never have I evers tonight. I am anxious about Ivan traveling with his illness. He seems to be failing. Slowing down. I am grateful. Young friends raked our yard and hauled away 18 bags of leaves to compost. Friends of my daughter, Cammy. pulled our camper to Pomps Tires to have all tires replaced. Dry Rot. Old friend trimmed a tree that was as growing into our garage. Our nephew installed grab bars so Ivan can get around. Another nephew and niece picked up Kelley at the airport. They are taking us to the airport next week. Our niece, LeeAnne mowed our lawn at camp and kept it up for two years. With good cheer every good deed. I am grateful.
90. Never have I ever been on a sports team-once years ago but we lost every game.
91. Never have I ever maxed out a credit card-Never
92. Never have I ever been blackout drunk-I can’t remember
93. Never have I ever been engaged-I have
94. Never have I ever gotten married-I have and am.
95. Never have I ever donated to a charity-I have
96. Never have I ever pretended to be sick to get out of something-Never
97. Never have I ever stood up a date-Never
98. Never have I ever ghosted someone-Never?
99. Never have I ever had sex on a beach-Never
100. Never have I ever fallen in love-I did fifty three years ago and am still loving him.
70. Never have I ever believed something was haunted-I have
71. Never have I ever participated in a protest-I would
72. Never have I ever had sleep paralysis-I have. It was so frightening. I could not move or scream.
73. Never have I ever been the alibi for a lying friend-Never
74. Never have I ever pulled an all-nighter-I have, felt terrible the next day.
75. Never have I ever role-played-I have.
76. Never have I ever regretted an apology-I have.
77. Never have I ever pretended I was sick for attention-Never
78. Never have I ever disliked something that I cooked-I have cooked a few inedible meals.
79. Never have I ever deleted a post on social media because it didn’t get enough likes-Never, remember I am 71.
80. Never have I ever spent more than $100 on a top-I have. Not often but The Morrison Shop!
81. Never have I ever thrown a drink at someone-Never in anger or drama. For fun!
82. Never have I ever worn someone else’s underwear-Never but I did have to wear someone else’s swim suit for a class…
83. Never have I ever traveled to Europe-Never but it is my dream trip.
84. Never have I ever attempted a trendy diet-I have. Remember the One grapefruit, one hot dog, 1/2 cup ice cream diet. South Beach, etc
85. Never have I ever gone to a strip club-Never
86. Never have I ever binged an entire series in one day-I have. Poldark, Being Human, Sherlock, True Blood.
87. Never have I ever tried psychedelics-Never
88. Never have I ever met someone famous-I have. Marie Osmond
89. Never have I ever gone streaking. Never
There you have it. A life lived with too many never sun it! 🥴
From 0prah Daily
40. Never have I ever laughed so hard I, um, peed my pants as an adult-I have
41. Never have I ever got on the wrong train or bus-Never
42. Never have I ever sent a sext-Never
43. Never have I ever cursed in a place of worship-Not out loud
44. Never have I ever snooped through someone’s stuff-I have 🫣
45. Never have I ever tried marijuana-I have
46. Never have I ever gone 24 hours without showering-I have
47. Never have I ever had to take a walk of shame-Never
48. Never have I ever gone on a solo vacation-Never
49. Never have I ever gone on a road trip-I have
50. Never have I ever ate an entire pizza by myself-Never
51. Never have I ever saved a life-I have
52. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo-Never
53. Never have I ever wanted to be on a reality TV show-Never-I don’t even watch them
54. Never have I ever started a fire-A campfire
55. Never have I ever gotten stopped by airport security-I have
56. Never have I ever gone viral online-Never
57. Never have I ever left gum in a public space-Never
58. Never have I ever slept outdoors for an entire night-I have on a trampoline
59. Never have I ever run a marathon-Walked
60. Never have I ever given/received a lap dance-Never
61. Never have I ever made a speech in front of 100 people or more-Students-I have
62. Never have I ever relieved myself in a public pool-Never
63. Never have I ever lied to my best friend about who I was with-Never
64. Never have I ever been to a Disney park-I have-many times
65. Never have I ever had a threesome-Never
66. Never have I ever left someone on read-???
67. Never have I ever fallen asleep during sex-Never
68. Never have I ever lied about my age-Never
69. Never have I ever made up a story about someone who wasn’t real-Never
This really shows me I need to revise my bucket list!
Seven days til 72.
My age posts are usually upbeat. Fun. This year I’m at a loss. How do I say I am afraid of what tomorrow will bring? I have much to do to get ready for our Florida trip. I feel so anxious about his Dr visit. What will this new look at his illness look like?
In keeping with my self discovery as I age-Never have I ever!!
1. Never have I ever played hooky from school or work-Never
2. Never have I ever stolen anything-Never
3. Never have I ever missed a flight-I have
4. Never have I ever drunk-dialed my ex-Never
5. Never have I ever rode a motorcycle-I have
6. Never have I ever lost a bet-I have
7. Never have I ever gotten lost alone in a foreign country-Never
8. Never have I ever bribed someone-I have
9. Never have I ever gone skinny-dipping-I have
10. Never have I ever cheated on someone-Never
11. Never have I ever sang karaoke-I have
12. Never have I ever broken a bone-Never
13. Never have I ever lived alone-Never
14. Never have I ever been on a yacht-Never
15. Never have I ever been on TV-Never
16. Never have I ever been on a blind date-Never
17. Never have I ever lied to law enforcement-Never
18. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo-Never
19. Never have I ever used a fake ID-Never
20. Never have I ever broken up with someone-Never
21. Never have I ever gotten seriously hungover-I have
22. Never have I ever used someone else’s toothbrush-Never
23. Never have I ever clogged somebody else’s toilet-I have🫢
24. Never have I ever fallen asleep in public-I have
25. Never have I ever kissed someone in public-I have
26. Never have I ever fought in public-I have
27. Never have I ever dined and dashed-Never
28. Never have I ever won the lottery-Never
29. Never have I ever had to go to court-Never
30. Never have I ever been to a destination wedding-Never
31. Never have I ever lied to a boss-Never
32. Never have I ever crashed a wedding-Never
33. Never have I ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours-Never
34. Never have I ever pranked someone-I have
35. Never have I ever had a one-night stand-Never
36. Never have I ever regifted a gift-I have
37. Never have I ever trolled someone on social media-Never
38. Never have I ever climbed out of a window-I have
39. Never have I ever driven over a curb-I have
There are more of these. I have lived a very sheltered life😬
Today was a difficult day. Ivan is very sick. Trying to get a clinical trial just to get as much more time as possible. He wants to be here with us. Last Friday his brother’s daughter was killed in a side by side accident. She was more like a daughter than a niece. She has helped us keep our camp up. Been there for things we did not even know we needed. Always with warmth and love. Losing her has hurt him so terribly. What will we do without her, he said. So many tears.
Back to my last few days of 71. I’m reading and listening toBlack Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson. This is a good read. I finished a big jigsaw, Mr Wiggins Whirligigs. Seaside old town. Ivan made me foam board it to hang up. Beautiful. Only one piece eaten by Bella. Four pieces last puzzle. Tastes like popcorn
I still wonder we how my life has passed so quickly. Where has the time gone? Lots of things I did not make time to do. Daily life got in the way. I’m sad our last years together have been spent in this awful illness. We both try to have a semblance of a normal life but we don’t do so many of the things we love to do. Cancer takes over. Chemo. Two weeks out of town for full brain radiation. ER visits. Hospital stays. Now I am feeling blue. And almost 72. Can you find the missing piece?
In nine days I will be 72. I like to blog every day of my last month of each age. Say 71. Everything has been harder this year. So I need to look at a list of questions. I found something. The Allure Survey on aging.
1. Who are your role models for aging? Violet Sargent. She actually aged. 103 years old. Active nearly to the end. Walking, berry picking, beach combing. I admired her zest for life. Miriam Smith. 85. She walks every morning. Bakes bread. Gardens. She also has a zest for life.
2. What words do you associate with gray hair? If is that pure white hair. Sophistication is my word.
3. Pick an age to be. I pick 35. when is a woman most beautiful? 30 and those young years.
4. How do you feel about the physical signs of aging? I have been lucky I guess. My red hair is not graying. I am active and have stayed in good shape. I have not minded aging. BUT then I turned 70. I don’t love my actual wrinkles. Where did they come from? Anther sign of aging I am struggling with-aches and pains.
5. I am in a long term relationship. 54 years married to a man who has loved me and told me I am beautiful every day. So I have not had to deal with men my age not being attracted to women my age.
6. Women feel sexier in their 60’s? I loved those years from 50-69. I felt confident in myself. Good health. Travel. My children were doing well. BUT then 70 hit. My husband is very ill. I have lost so many friends to age related illnesses. I’m getting anxious about aging.
7. Would you consider anti-aging procedures? Big no. I think aging naturally is more attractive. No knife for me. I like a massage or a facial but nothing drastic.
8. Do you judge others, celebs pols, who have gone under the knife? I think it is a bad idea. I don’t think it looks good at all. So I gues I do judge. But I just want to say stop…
9. What do you fear most about aging? Dying or looking old? I don’t mind the looking old. I like my self the way I am. So I pick dying. I am not ready. I love watching my grandkids grow. My relationship with my daughters. I love being in this life.
10. What keeps you feeling young? I have so many things I want to do. Books to read. Travel. Sit on my front porch. Children to watch grow…
Our niece was killed Friday in a Razr accident. A tire blew. The machine landed on her. Her passing is unbearable. My husband said,”What will I do without her?” She has been there for us through these two years of pancreatic cancer. Keeping our over an acre lawn in Isabella mowed. Perfectly. It made Ivan so happy. We gave her a check every month to cover her time and gas. She gave them all back to us at Christmas. She cleaned our own private Isabella for us. Including a garage with
