Christmas on the porch…

I celebrated Christmas with some, though not all, of my favorite people. It has been a lovely time together. Good food, good company. Love and joy in abundance. I needed these good days. 

It is time to start my 2022 Pop Sugar and Read Harder Challenges. I have picked many of the books to fulfil the lists of around 60 books. Last year my first book was the best book I read all year. Shuggie Bain. I am hoping  I pick a good starting book this year. I am thinking The Sentence by Louise Erdrich. Pop Sugar #29. Read a book by an author you read in 2021. (The Night Watchman)

Reading challenges~Fin~from the cold front porch…

 It is that time of year again. I am finishing up the two book challenges I have done for many years. Pop Sugar and Read Harder 2021. A few stats. I read 36 books written by women. 24 books written by men.  And of those 60 books 28 were written by authors of color. The best book I read in 2021 was the first book of the year, Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart. My top ten reads of 2021: Shuggie Bain, Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell, Jack by Marilynne Robinson, Becoming Duchess Goldblatt by Anonymous, The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich, Mr. Loverman by Bernadine Evaristo, Men We Reaped by Jessmyn Ward, The Prophets by Robert Jones JR, Goodbye Vitamin by Rachel Kuong, Deacon King Kong by James McBride. I wish my recommendation of these extraordinary books would sit you down and get you all to read. I still have to finish a book to complete my challenges. HarlemShuffle# by ColsonWhitehead# netgalley#  I simply could not make myself read challenge 18 of RH. Read a book about/by a non western world leader. Just no. Right up there with horror and true crime. Oh, and self help. 

Reading on the porch…

 

I read Anthony Doerr’s All the Light We Cannot See and appreciated how well written it was. A much better read than most other WWII books out there. I am done with WWII novels by the way. No one ever wins. So many young people die. No one learns anything. 

So when I was given the opportunity to read the ARC #CloudCuckooLand by Scribner and Net Galley I was excited to read another book by Doerr. I have not been disappointed. It took me a few pages to sort out the stories and the connections but when I got it I could not stop reading. Special characters. Konstance, Zeno, Omeir, Anna and even Seymour. Their stories are intertwined by an ancient script written by Diogenes. Cloud Cuckoo Land. The stories are set in Constantinople, Idaho and Outer Space. Their lives are lived through time. #AnthonyDoerr #CloudCuckooLand #netgalley #Scribner

Home, home on the porch...

 

 And we are back from the hospital. Five days of nothing by mouth. Endoscopy, biopsies,  ultrasound endoscopy and more biopsies. Finally a liquid diet. The dog he missed every day. Our family. 

A diagnosis to make the blood run cold. 

He is still smiling. He wants us all to be ok. To be comfortable. 

Oh, Papa. You are loved.

The times, they are a changin’...

 It is shocking how a day can change everything. An ordinary life lived with quiet joy. Children and grandchildren give us our happiness, our adventure. Peace and love. Then a bit of nausea. An ache too excruciating to be nothing. A trip to the emergency room. A CT scan revealing a dire diagnosis, the most dire. An ambulance trip to a larger hospital for more tests. More fear, more tears. More pain for my dear husband. We are still waiting for confirmation of the small hospital’s horrific diagnosis. I don’t think we will survive this. Either of us. He is my rock. I am going to have to take on that role. Somehow. I am a strong person. I will do this for him. 

I thought we would be together forever. We have had 50 years of good health. A good life. Just lucky, I guess. 

70th birthday on the old front porch...

 My 70th birthday. I woke up to coffee and apple strudel. Flowers and a hammock. My last hammock rotted away from sunstroke. I put things away for a while then I don’t. I love a hammock. So good gift. We took a drive to Marquette.            TJ Maxx. Huron Mountain Bakery . Lunch and a blueberry 🫐 beer at the Vierling. Delicious. Then home to another trifle by Cammy and girls. A vanilla raspberry cake. Aging is sweet on the porch. I had a wonderful day. Connected with all of my family by FaceTime, phone or text. And right here at home. 

My last question of the last month of my sixth decade. What makes you strong? This is a hard question. I think I am strong because I grew up with out many material things. I learned from a mother with strong character how to take care of myself and the people around me. I learned to find joy in a small, ordinary life. I see it in my siblings as well.  That strength of character we all have. We still enjoy each other’s company. We have fun playing games together. Being together after all these years(we are all over sixty) is so much fun. Does that answer this last question? I think it does. 

Birthday Eve...

                     The Florida birthday cake.

                                   The bathing suit.

                                   The suit plus ocean. 

 One day left to be 69. Tomorrow I will be 70. I picked a few easier questions for today. Not as soul searching.

Would you rather read fiction or nonfiction? Until I read Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, The Things They Carried, Heavy by Kiese Laymon, How We Fight for Our Lives by Saeed Jones, Hidden Figures, When Breath Becomes Air, A Lesson Before Dying I would have said fiction. Without hesitation. I read these books because of the book challenges I have participated in. I still choose fiction as my favorite books to read but I am enjoying nonfiction as well. 

How do you feel about swim suit shopping? I just went swimsuit shopping with my granddaughters in Florida. We went to a high dollar department store. Many choices. They were nearly hysterical when I tried on a suit that exposed my entire cleavage. Think about my age. Then they found a ruffled, flattering, nicely fitting suit. Swim suit shopping can be traumatic for me at 69. But shopping with my grand girls was fun. 

To What makes you cry? Saying goodbye to my grandkids. I say goodbye so often. My kids live in other states. Soldiers reuniting with their families. Lost dogs reuniting with their owners. 

Grateful on the porch...

 What are you grateful for?

So much. I am grateful for my husband of 52 years. I am grateful for what a good friend he is to me. I feel loved and cared for. I am grateful for my daughters and their wonderful children.  I am grateful for my home with an old front porch. I have so much. Life is good even if I am going to be 70 in two days. What? Why? I am grateful for all my birthday cakes. Three cakes so far. There might be one more. I really only have birthdays for the cake. I am grateful for the beautiful bracelet my sister sent me. I am grateful for Squid Lips. Good books. Good food and good people. 

                 An assortment of cakes over the years! 

Home, home on the porch...

                                     Cake by Cammy 

                                        This is 60 

                        

Me and Joanie-Pre 70th celebration

Where do you feel the most like yourself?

On my porch. In this very old house. In my small town.?With my husband of fifty two years (June 14). With my beloved family. Building this place where I feel good in my skin has been a journey. How did I go from a girl who barely knew the man I married to a woman who has a partner who is my very best friend? We travel together with ease. We care for each other with love. Good humor and support. It took some time but it was worth the effort. 

Birthday celebration #3. With my sister-in-law, Joanie. At my daughter Cammy’s home. We are three days apart so have celebrated together for years. Our 40th, our 60th and now our 70th. 

Reading on the porch...

 What book had the most significant impact on you? 

Terms of Endearment by Larry McMurtry. I read it when I was twenty one years old. I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen. I felt so guilty after she died. I was a typical teen. I remember praying she would get better just so she could take care of me. I still watched a music show after school even though the sound must have been awful for her. She never complained. I would sit with her in her bed but never for long. I was so concerned with how her illness affected me. I loved her and needed her so much. I never completely lost the feeling of guilt that I could have done more for her. Been a better
daughter. Then years later after I married and had a child I read Terms of Endearment. Emma said goodbye to her boys and tells her older boy not to feel bad about being a teen. She knows he loves her. She gets him. When I read that it made me know that my mother knew how I felt about her even though I was so self involved when she was dying. It let me let go. I cried so hard while reading this book. My three year old daughter came to me and put her little arms around me in comfort. I remember this moment as if it were yesterday. Not the best book I’ve ever read but the most impactful. 

                         Baby me with my Dad and Mom

Soul searching on my porch...

 What is the most courageous thing you have ever done? 

It took all my courage to get in the whale watching boat in Vancouver BC. I had to wear a floating wet suit. We went very far out into the ocean. Small rubber boat, deep water. A giant killer whale came very close to us. It was exhilarating. We floated back into the dock in a spectacular sunset. It took the most courage for me to just get in the boat. I almost couldn’t get off the dock. It was the space between the boat and the dock that paralyzed me. The captain told me not to jump. He said sit down and swing your legs over. He was so calm. He said he’d never lost a person from his boat. I did it. By the way, two weeks after our trip two whale watching expedition boats lost several people when the boats capsized! 

I still can’t believe I got in the boat!

Learning is a lifelong process ...

 Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Henry Ford

What are you still learning about yourself? 

I am not highly motivated. I spent years doing what I had to do to raise a family. To work at my job. It put me under pressure to get things done. I was most creative during that time in my life. I entertained friends and family. I kept up my house. Without the pressures of a job and children I just don’t have the motivation to perform. I cannot make myself stick to an exercise program. I need to sort through closets and organize. Throw away some stuff. I want to collect some of my best photographs and print a book. Okay, this is turning into a to do list. Or a not done list. I’ll get right on it. Maybe. 

Fearless on the porch...

 How would your life change if you were fearless? 

I am not fearless. I never want to go skydiving or ride a roller coaster. So if I were fearless my life would change. I would go skydiving. Rocky Mountain climbing, I’d ride 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. I would love deeper...

If I were fearless I would travel abroad by myself. I would hike at least part of the Appalachian Trail alone. I would go horseback riding. I might try zip lining. Take a college class. Write something. Paint a canvas. I am not fearless. 

                                    Old pictures

Rage, rage against the dying of the light...

 I came across this quote from a Dylan Thomas poem. It is inspiring for a woman facing 70 in 10 days. I will not go gentle!

“Do not go gentle into that good night,                                      Old age should burn and rave at close of day;                       Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Dylan Thomas

What would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife? 

See what I mean about these questions? Tough. 

Good books. Lots of books. Down pillows. Fancy cotton pajamas. Ugg slippers. Plush blanket. Lots of wool yarn and a crochet hook. Scissors and a large yarn needle. Journals to record my afterlife experience. Pencils and erasers. Paint, fine brushes and canvas. Sketch book. A good easel. My camera and lenses to record my afterlife experience. Cell phone? Hmm. That might defeat after in afterlife.