70th birthday on the old front porch...

 My 70th birthday. I woke up to coffee and apple strudel. Flowers and a hammock. My last hammock rotted away from sunstroke. I put things away for a while then I don’t. I love a hammock. So good gift. We took a drive to Marquette.            TJ Maxx. Huron Mountain Bakery . Lunch and a blueberry 🫐 beer at the Vierling. Delicious. Then home to another trifle by Cammy and girls. A vanilla raspberry cake. Aging is sweet on the porch. I had a wonderful day. Connected with all of my family by FaceTime, phone or text. And right here at home. 

My last question of the last month of my sixth decade. What makes you strong? This is a hard question. I think I am strong because I grew up with out many material things. I learned from a mother with strong character how to take care of myself and the people around me. I learned to find joy in a small, ordinary life. I see it in my siblings as well.  That strength of character we all have. We still enjoy each other’s company. We have fun playing games together. Being together after all these years(we are all over sixty) is so much fun. Does that answer this last question? I think it does. 

Birthday Eve...

                     The Florida birthday cake.

                                   The bathing suit.

                                   The suit plus ocean. 

 One day left to be 69. Tomorrow I will be 70. I picked a few easier questions for today. Not as soul searching.

Would you rather read fiction or nonfiction? Until I read Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, The Things They Carried, Heavy by Kiese Laymon, How We Fight for Our Lives by Saeed Jones, Hidden Figures, When Breath Becomes Air, A Lesson Before Dying I would have said fiction. Without hesitation. I read these books because of the book challenges I have participated in. I still choose fiction as my favorite books to read but I am enjoying nonfiction as well. 

How do you feel about swim suit shopping? I just went swimsuit shopping with my granddaughters in Florida. We went to a high dollar department store. Many choices. They were nearly hysterical when I tried on a suit that exposed my entire cleavage. Think about my age. Then they found a ruffled, flattering, nicely fitting suit. Swim suit shopping can be traumatic for me at 69. But shopping with my grand girls was fun. 

To What makes you cry? Saying goodbye to my grandkids. I say goodbye so often. My kids live in other states. Soldiers reuniting with their families. Lost dogs reuniting with their owners. 

Grateful on the porch...

 What are you grateful for?

So much. I am grateful for my husband of 52 years. I am grateful for what a good friend he is to me. I feel loved and cared for. I am grateful for my daughters and their wonderful children.  I am grateful for my home with an old front porch. I have so much. Life is good even if I am going to be 70 in two days. What? Why? I am grateful for all my birthday cakes. Three cakes so far. There might be one more. I really only have birthdays for the cake. I am grateful for the beautiful bracelet my sister sent me. I am grateful for Squid Lips. Good books. Good food and good people. 

                 An assortment of cakes over the years! 

Home, home on the porch...

                                     Cake by Cammy 

                                        This is 60 

                        

Me and Joanie-Pre 70th celebration

Where do you feel the most like yourself?

On my porch. In this very old house. In my small town.?With my husband of fifty two years (June 14). With my beloved family. Building this place where I feel good in my skin has been a journey. How did I go from a girl who barely knew the man I married to a woman who has a partner who is my very best friend? We travel together with ease. We care for each other with love. Good humor and support. It took some time but it was worth the effort. 

Birthday celebration #3. With my sister-in-law, Joanie. At my daughter Cammy’s home. We are three days apart so have celebrated together for years. Our 40th, our 60th and now our 70th. 

Reading on the porch...

 What book had the most significant impact on you? 

Terms of Endearment by Larry McMurtry. I read it when I was twenty one years old. I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen. I felt so guilty after she died. I was a typical teen. I remember praying she would get better just so she could take care of me. I still watched a music show after school even though the sound must have been awful for her. She never complained. I would sit with her in her bed but never for long. I was so concerned with how her illness affected me. I loved her and needed her so much. I never completely lost the feeling of guilt that I could have done more for her. Been a better
daughter. Then years later after I married and had a child I read Terms of Endearment. Emma said goodbye to her boys and tells her older boy not to feel bad about being a teen. She knows he loves her. She gets him. When I read that it made me know that my mother knew how I felt about her even though I was so self involved when she was dying. It let me let go. I cried so hard while reading this book. My three year old daughter came to me and put her little arms around me in comfort. I remember this moment as if it were yesterday. Not the best book I’ve ever read but the most impactful. 

                         Baby me with my Dad and Mom

Soul searching on my porch...

 What is the most courageous thing you have ever done? 

It took all my courage to get in the whale watching boat in Vancouver BC. I had to wear a floating wet suit. We went very far out into the ocean. Small rubber boat, deep water. A giant killer whale came very close to us. It was exhilarating. We floated back into the dock in a spectacular sunset. It took the most courage for me to just get in the boat. I almost couldn’t get off the dock. It was the space between the boat and the dock that paralyzed me. The captain told me not to jump. He said sit down and swing your legs over. He was so calm. He said he’d never lost a person from his boat. I did it. By the way, two weeks after our trip two whale watching expedition boats lost several people when the boats capsized! 

I still can’t believe I got in the boat!

Learning is a lifelong process ...

 Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Henry Ford

What are you still learning about yourself? 

I am not highly motivated. I spent years doing what I had to do to raise a family. To work at my job. It put me under pressure to get things done. I was most creative during that time in my life. I entertained friends and family. I kept up my house. Without the pressures of a job and children I just don’t have the motivation to perform. I cannot make myself stick to an exercise program. I need to sort through closets and organize. Throw away some stuff. I want to collect some of my best photographs and print a book. Okay, this is turning into a to do list. Or a not done list. I’ll get right on it. Maybe. 

Fearless on the porch...

 How would your life change if you were fearless? 

I am not fearless. I never want to go skydiving or ride a roller coaster. So if I were fearless my life would change. I would go skydiving. Rocky Mountain climbing, I’d ride 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. I would love deeper...

If I were fearless I would travel abroad by myself. I would hike at least part of the Appalachian Trail alone. I would go horseback riding. I might try zip lining. Take a college class. Write something. Paint a canvas. I am not fearless. 

                                    Old pictures

Rage, rage against the dying of the light...

 I came across this quote from a Dylan Thomas poem. It is inspiring for a woman facing 70 in 10 days. I will not go gentle!

“Do not go gentle into that good night,                                      Old age should burn and rave at close of day;                       Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Dylan Thomas

What would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife? 

See what I mean about these questions? Tough. 

Good books. Lots of books. Down pillows. Fancy cotton pajamas. Ugg slippers. Plush blanket. Lots of wool yarn and a crochet hook. Scissors and a large yarn needle. Journals to record my afterlife experience. Pencils and erasers. Paint, fine brushes and canvas. Sketch book. A good easel. My camera and lenses to record my afterlife experience. Cell phone? Hmm. That might defeat after in afterlife. 

Oops. I did it again...

 I missed another day. I can’t fix it because the date is set in stone. These questions are so soul searching. 

What do you fear? 

I fear an illness like cancer or Alzheimer’s deep in my heart. I don’t think I could survive another family member suffering a catastrophic illness. I fear losing my husband of 52 years. Aging is a thing to fear. The inevitable march  of time. 

Whoa, that was one of the scariest paragraphs I have ever written. 

I am reading The Prophets. Very heart wrenching.  Finished Mother May I by Jackson. Entertaining as Jackson usually is. 

                                        Swinging

                I love this 70th birthday dinner pic.

              

                                        Texas family 

Jazz Band and a dedication...

 If you wrote a book who would you dedicate it to and why?

This is an easy question. My dedication would be to my ten grandchildren. 

To the people with whom I have the best conversations about books. You give me great music recs.  Your brilliant minds. You all make sure you don’t lose me on a hike or in a mall. I know I slow you down. Because of you I know about jukes and trucks. And of course cozy cuddles. I dedicate this work to my grandchildren. All ten of you. My life is better because of you.

     Granny  

It is impossible to say how much these children have brought to my life. I am astounded by their brilliant minds. These are smart loving, kind teens. At every age they have been kind  and interesting.  I love that they are patient with my age and sharing with their time. I loved rocking them as babies. Their unconditional love. I am so proud of their accomplishments. 

Last night I attended a Jazz 🎶 concert. So very special. The instructor said she loved coming to work every day to spend time with these kind, bright, respectful students. 

Home on the porch...

 Is it best to judge people by their intentions or their actions?

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.-proverb 

I think people should be judged by their actions. Something actually gets done. Intentions sound good but what is ever accomplished? 

Today I rode from Champaign Illinois to Escanaba Michigan. 500 miles or 8 hours. I read an entire book. Mother May I by Joshilyn Jackson. Mystery and suspense. Kidnapping and murder. Haven made us Mac and cheese. Izzy, the dog, was so excited to see Papa. A little happy to see me. 

This last month of my 69th year is speeding by.