Prom night…

 April 27, 2024

Two days unti my seventy third birthday. Saying my goodbyes to Florida family. Aging is not for sissies

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Haven’s Junior/Senior Prom. Pro makeup and nails. Corset dress. Silver glitter. Bouquet! 

Birthday Eve…

 April 28, 2024

‘‘Twas the night before birthday…Tomorrow I will be 73. Aging has been a trip. My road has been smooth at times and lately very rough. Losing my driver, literally, has made the last year so difficult. I am not good at grieving. I miss my beloved husband. I found this on Instagram. I found it a comfort. I hope my grief will make me brave. 

Packing up the camper…

 April 26,2024  

Look closely. I have seen a monarch butterfly every day. 

Three days til seventy three. I look at my face in the mirror and I wonder how I got here. My skin is lined. I look older than my mother ever did. I am a widow. Alone. I need to move forward. Make decisions about my house. Should I paint or side. Garage doors. Isabella. The camper. What do I want to do for me? 

10.  What are your top five sayings that encapsulate the accrued wisdom of your life experience?

1. What is it you plan to do with your wild and precious life? —Mary Oliver

2. If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever. —a.a.milne

3. Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.—Dylan Thomas

4. A book is a dream you hold in your hands.—Neil Gaimen

5. The only things that matter are the little moments that make up a life. —Neil Gaimen

 

On Your Feet…

 April 25, 2024

Cammy and I had dinner at Citrus tonight. U6 Prawns with Lemon Angel Hair Pasta. Delicious. Sat outside with a view of the ocean. Warm and breezy. Then we saw the musical Get on Your Feet. Gloria and Emilio Estefan. Lovely night.

Four days til seventy three. Oh, my. 

Seventy three is breathing down my neck…

 April 24,2024

Five days til seventy three. Oh, my. Packing to head back to Michigan. A lunch, a musical and Junior Prom still on my list of things to do. Bella survived boarding at a kennel. They said she was a real sweetheart. The people were lovely. Huge talking bird. I will miss being here in this gorgeous weather with my girls. Floating in the pool. Coffee outside. I love my teens. 

3b. What is the last time  you put something off that you really would like to do yourself? 

Always. I do so much for other people I put off anything I want to do for me. Sometimes I think I use this as an excuse not to chance failure. Remember, I just spent two years as my husband’s sole caregiver. There are no resources to give a caregiver support. American Cancer society, Pan Can, Hospice, etc have pamphlets, online info but no actual help with care. My goal once I get home is to do something I want to do just for me. Take a class. Paint a canvas. Listen to me. 

My daughters and families have shown me loving hospitality. I have been with them for 5 months. I am so grateful. I have turned a corner in this grieving process. I feel ready to move forward. 

                                Pictures of my winter!  

Back in Florida…

 April 22,2024

Flew back to Florida today. Watched 2009 Sherlock Holmes movie on the plane. It made my trip go by in a minute. Seven days til seventy-three.

 

I will pick up Bella tomorrow. I miss her so much. She looked so sad when I left her at the kennel. I hope she is ok. 

I need to pick a new book for my Pop Sugar challenge. I finished The Many Lives of Mama Love. Very good. I want my next read to be just as good.

3. What makes you happy? 

My family is my happiness. Listening to my teen grand kids talk about school and music and their dreams makes me happy. Reading a really good book. Working on a jigsaw puzzle. Simple things, I guess. 

From the GAW Barbie convention…

 #GAWConvention #HiBarbie #ImaBarbieGirl #Grant-a-WishFund

Busy 4 days of Barbie. Quite an experience. OOAK dolls by designers from France, Italy, Mattel and US. Raised over $60,000 with doll auction for Gilda’s Club, Camp Casey, and Team Tessa.

I met so many great people. Fun at the ball, kareoke and social events. I won the table doll! 

Hi, Barbie! Hi, Barbie…

 April 17, 2024 

I made it. Two very busy airports. A rainstorm in Detroit. Landed through turbulence. I’m at the convention with my sister. It is quite amazing. Pictures tomorrow. 

1. What is your biggest regret and how can your loved ones avoid the same. I have a few regrets. My biggest is not traveling more when I was younger. I want to travel Europe but I have put it off for so long I might not have the energy to do it properly. My advice to my loved ones. DO IT NOW! Don’t put anything off that you really want to do. 

                               OOAK Silkstone Barbie

On my way to say, “Hi,Barbie”

 April 16, 2024

Heading to a Barbie Convention with my sister. Should be fun I am looking forward to it. I have always loved vintage Barbie’s. Is it wrong that the toys I played with as a kid are all vintage? 

Thirteen and counting!

               This was a long time ago. 

7. What is love?  

This is an easy question for me. I think I can answer it with grace. Love is being present for the person you care for. Love is doing things that make life a little easier or more fun for the one you love. It is sharing experiences. It is being close. Love is caring for him in his illness never letting him feel like a burden. (He worried that caring for him during cancer treatment was too hard). Love is children and grandchildren. Babies. Holidays. Trips. Sitting together by a fire, at camp,  on the old front porch.

It’s always sunny in Florida…

 April 15, 2024

FOR YOU WHEN I AM GONE by Steve Leder

I took the next 12 questions from this book.

5. What enabled you to withstand and move on in the face of your greatest challenge? 

The greatest challenge I have faced in my life was being told, along with my husband, that he had 4th stage pancreatic cancer. The doctors said he had 3 to 6 months to live. He lived for 2 years. Together we decided to find joy in every day he had left. We both remained positive and enjoyed life. I was surprised by our strength as  we supported and loved eachother through even the worst days. The enabling factor was living fully in each day, each moment. My advice to my loved ones is live in the present. One day at a time. Love your people. Tell them how you feel. 

Another day off the porch…

 April14,2024

I started Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger for the prompt a whydunit or whodunit mystery. This book is actually a murder mystery and came up on a list of books for this prompt. I found it in my camper. I did not want to finish Bookshops and Bonedust. Too much fun. 

I attended the Armed Man Peace concert with Haven. She sang  in the choir. It was very interesting. A good piece of music .

I’m trying to decide what to wear on the plane Tuesday to attend a Barbie Convention. “Hi, Barbie!” Yes, that doll.

Thinking about, not doing anything about, packing up my camper to sell or at least to leave it til next winter. 

Only fifteen more days until my seventy third birthday. Seems a little old.

Five months away from my porch…

 Time flies. It does not stand still. I guess it always will. I have been away from my porch for 5 months. I miss my old home with the old front porch. I have a list of all the projects I have to do when I get home. By myself. Key word. I will have to figure out alone. Making decisions. Living life by myself. Aging. 

Today I watch Clay’s power lifting meet. Nationals in Atlanta GA. He came in 5th. He works so hard to achieve his goals.

Kendall had her Senior Prom today. She is a beauty. Senior year is almost over! 

Dogs off the porch…🐾🐾🐾

 I am surrounded by dogs. An English Cream Retriever, a Bernadoodle and my favorite, a Beagle, Rat Terrier mix. Also known as a Raggle.  Her name is Bella. She loved my deceased husband first. It took a while but she has transferred her devotion to me. Bella is so much company. Also so much bother. She is high energy. Traveling with her has been a challenge. I should have gotten a smaller crate 🤨. She could have used one of those dog whisperers. Or any kind of training. 

Seventeen days til B-day. I’m reading Bookshops and Bonedust. I did not want to read a cozy fantasy but I am loving it!!

                          I forgot to mention the six cats!